Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
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