just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
