You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
So much rum. So many feels.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
