Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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