Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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