after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
