do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
