my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
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