I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Randomize
