Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
