I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
