Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
