That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
