i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Randomize
