There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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