I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
