BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
