And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
We need to get me chipped asap
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
