too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize
