can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
