so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Best friends brother. Beat that.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
