I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
