Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
