She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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