fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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