he thought i was a dude.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I understand Curling. That high.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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