My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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