she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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