If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
