i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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