i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
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