she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Randomize
