Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
