ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
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