fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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