My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize