She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
