I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I CAN MOONWALK!
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Randomize
