when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
You don't make any sense
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