We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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