I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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