My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
