That's intense
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize