Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
