I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
