you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize