Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
