No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
