too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
