Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Randomize
