benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
