The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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