I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
