I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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