and you said cock pushups were impossible
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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