Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize