I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
