I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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