I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
