I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I just pynch a tree in the face
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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